Mitch Hedberg

Comedian Mitch Hedberg was found dead in his hotel room. Dude was funny, young, and talented. He was also known for having a debilitating drug problem. His delivery was at least half the battle with his humor (dry, like Steven Wright). So to retell them without his voice is something of an injustice. However, let's air some of his most memorable. These are some of his best bits, contributed by fans remembering him today, please enjoy:

I think pringles original plan was to make tennis balls

If I had a friend who was a tight rope walker and one day while walking down the street he tripped, I'd find that completely unacceptable

Someone once asked me if I wanted I wanted a frozen banana. I didn't, but I thought later I might want a regular banana, so I said sure

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut...I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a doughnut

Everytime I see someone handing out a flyer I think "here, you throw this away."

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty

I like an escalator man, because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You'll never see an 'Escalator Temporarily Out of Order' sign....just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs.' Sorry for the convenience

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up