Monday, December 31, 2012

2013 list is here!

***  udpate 1.5.2013

We have a few new entries.  Yes, we allow entries after the deadline.  They only get 8 names, and really who the hell cares?  Approx half our list is totally new folks to our Dead Pool challenge.  So, welcome aboard, you sick fuckers!

the rules?  Well, there are many.  Really, a lot.  However, it is mostly this simple.  Whomever has the most people on their list die in 2013 wins.  If there is a tie, that is where the rules come in play, and I thaw the lawyers.  Pray not for the lawyers, friends.  They are in a billing stasis not unlike what Jabba did with Han Solo.  Once they are loosened on the world, the pain comes forth like Austin Powers' urine stream after being frozen for 40 years.

and in the event that can't be worked out, it is simple.  The failsafe is that I win.

Derron M

Hugo Chavez
James Garner
Nancy Reagan
Artie Lange
Pope Benedict XVI
Muhammed Ali
Kirk Douglas
Billy Graham

Patrick S

Grace Slick
Bob Dole
Fats Domino
Oprah Winfrey
Ozzy Osbourne
Johnny Winters
Leslie West
Donald Sutherland

E-Murph/ Erin M/ Lilly von Schtupp

1) Jerry Lewis
2) Don Rickles 
3) Bob Elliott 
4) Lauren Bacall
5) Maureen O'Hara
6) Zsa Zsa Gabor
7) Beverly Cleary
8) Carl Reiner
9) Henry Heimlich
10) Esther Williams

Alt Doris Day

Chris Michas aka Mr von Scthupp

* normally, I would simply list names.  However, this ranty gem of an email must be published in its glorious entirety

Nancy Reagan
Mickey Rooney
Carol Channing
David Rockefeller
Kirk Douglas
Abe Vigoda
Vera Lynn
George Herbert Walker Bush
Olivia de Havilland
Sid Caesar

Hillary Clinton
A note on my alternate, I don't think she is actually sick or injured right now despite what is being reported.  I think its a political ploy and it would not hurt my feelings any if she croaked in the next few hours.


Another note to any government agency that is likely reading our emails.  This email contains no threats intended or implied toward any celebrities or political figures and is merely speculation.

Kevin/ Lono/ Master of Death Emeritus

1.    Kat Williams
2.    Lindsay Lohan
3.    George Bush (sr)
4.    Zsa Zsa Gabor
5.    Fidel Castro
6.    Don Pardo
7.    Nancy Reagan
8.    Roger Ebert
9.    Harold Camping
10.  BB King


Jamie Guerin aka the Arizona Monkey Boy (really, that is his email)

1.  Honey Boo Boo
2.  Snooki's baby
3.  Angus Jones
4.  Lance Armstrong
5.  Bob Dole
6.  Glenn Campbell
7.  Bart Starr
8.  Roger Ebert
9.  The voice of Elmo guy (* editors note: Kevin Clash)
10.  Lindsay Lohan will have at least 2 abortions. (* ed note - do you mean on top of the 3 she had this weekend?)


I can't think of anyone GOOD. ok. So here is my (unresearched) list:

Leann Rhimes
Aretha Franklin
Dick Cheney
HW Bush
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nelson Mandela
Kirk Douglas
Muhammad Ali
Billy Graham
Kim Kardashian

Malibu Julz

Lindsay Lohan
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Stephen Hawking
Ariel Sharon
Jan Michael Vincent
Fidel Castro
Rose Marie
Jake La Motta
Shirley Temple Black
Annette Funicello

Alternate:  Aretha Franklin
Roy (aka Majikwah)

1.  George W H Bush

2.  Nelson Mandella

3. Zsa Zsa Gabor

4. Stephen Hawking

5. Nancy Reagan

6. Billy Graham

7. Lawrence Walsh

8. Fidel Castro

9. Patrick Macnee

10. Helmut Schmidt

Alt. Margaret Thatcher