Meet Oscar. Oscar is our dark master. Oscar is that adorable cat above who knows when you are going to die. Let's say that one more time for emphasis. Oscar knows when you are going to die. Oscar lives in a hospice, and whenever he visits a patiend and cuddles up with them, they die within two hours. Every fucking time. Luck of the draw, eh? No, he has hit this 25 times in a row.
Oscar is better at predicting death than the people who work there, said Dr. Joan Teno of Brown University. ">Oscar is so accurate that after the 13th time, when Oscar visits a patient the staff calls their family immediately. Look how cute he is. Understand, though, that Oscar is murdering elderly Americans. Felinicide! Come on, 25 times in a row he visits someone and they die? It doesnt' take Steven King to put you finger on this one. The cat kills people.
After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar was making his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He’d sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would die in a few hours.
Oscar is better at predicting death than the people who work there, said Dr. Joan Teno of Brown University.
She was convinced of Oscar’s talent when he made his 13th correct call.
I think we may need to add a new clause, after the 'Terry Schiavo clause', the 'Malibu Julz clause', the 'Kevin clause'... there is the Oscar clause. I am not even sure what that means, but did you ever notice wherever Jessica Fletcher showed up to people died? Isn't that a concern? How was she never a suspect? Oscar is the feline 'murder she wrote', and I am adopting that cat and sending it to the White House.